1. Did I take full responsibility for the message being heard by the other person?
(Remember, it doesn’t matter what you say, it only matters what the other person hears.)
circle: yes or no
2. Did I respect the other person’s point of view? (Did I have a reaction to what they were
saying that prevented me from listening to their full message?)
circle: yes or no
3. Did the other person feel heard and understood? (Did I acknowledge them?)
circle: yes or no
4. If I was asking someone to take a specific action, did I make my request clear?
circle: yes or no
5. Was I speaking in a way the other person can understand? (Speaking in their
communication style.)
circle: yes or no
6. Was I communicating openly, without prejudices, expectations and judgment?
(Was I focused on having to be right or hearing their point of view?)
circle: yes or no
7. Did the other person leave the conversation feeling good – with some value?
circle: yes or no
8. Did I leave the conversation feeling good – with some value?
circle: yes or no
9. Did I follow-‐up to see if the conversation was successful – it led to the desired
results?
circle: yes or no
10. If the outcome of the conversation did not meet my expectations, did I learn
what I could improve upon to better communicate with that particular person?
circle: yes or no
RESULTS: ARE YOU A GOOD COMMUNICATOR?:
A. 8-‐10 Yeses indicate you’re the tops in good communication. Keep it up.
B. 4-‐7 Yeses is OK. Brush up in certain areas of communication.
C. 0-‐3 means you have work to do in the area of effective communication.
1) Talk less and hear more. We want to be heard and listened to but we don’t always
concentrate on listening to others. We focus more on our agenda than on the other person’s
thoughts, concerns or issues.
2) Don’t assume others are mind readers. We want some kind of action or response from
another person. However, we don’t let them know what we really want or how to achieve it.
Before assuming the other knows what you want, first inform and then ask for feedback. Take the
time upfront to get better mileage later on.
3) Don’t shoot the messenger. We want to understand but our ability to understand is tainted by
our perceptions of the person speaking or the outcome we are looking to achieve. So, we often
pass judgment on the speaker and disregard the message. Concentrate on the message not the
messenger.
4) Join forces. We want acceptance and agreement from others, so much so, that we often become
consumed with having to be right or proving our point. We push and push our agenda. Rather,
stop, look and listen for areas of mutual agreement. Then work from there to co-‐create a greater
outcome together.
The next time you are involved in an important conversation pause your mental and verbal tape
player for a moment. Then start really listening. It’s amazing what you will discover. Perhaps
information that can lead to your leadership and business success.
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